X-Rated Goodies

One of my college roomates, Melanie, is getting married next month. Another one of my other college roomates, Jessica, and I were put in charge of baking some erotic treats for the bachelorette party weekend. Here's just a quick glimpse of our creations:

Penis Cake:


Cupcakes:




Fruity Condoms:



We made these by wrapping gummy Peach O's in fruit roll ups. These were delicious!

Condom Cookies:


We made these by pressing circles of white sugar cookie dough into pink squares of cookie dough. We then wrote on the cookies with icings.

Funfetti Cake

Confetti or, as I like to call it, Funfetti cakes get their name from the confetti-like splashes of color throughout. These splashes are produced by stirring rainbow sprinkles into the batter. The sugary jimmies melt as the cake bakes, leaving behind color and no trace of what was once a sprinkle.

This happens to be my coworker Jenny's favorite kind of cake, so I knew that's what I was making for her birthday. My only complaint with this cake in particular was that there wasn't enough "confetti" in the cake, so next time I will add more sprinkles to the batter!

Funfetti Cake
(Source: Annie's Eats)

1 1/4 cups all-purpose flour
2 tsp baking powder
1/2 tsp salt
6 Tbsp unsalted butter, at room temperature
1 cup sugar
3 large egg whites
1 tsp vanilla extract
1/4 tsp almond extract
1/2 cup milk
2 Tbsp rainbow sprinkles

1. Preheat the oven to 350°F. Grease and flour a 9x13 inch pan.

2. In a small bowl, combine the flour, baking powder, and salt. Stir together and set aside. In the bowl of a stand mixer, cream the butter and sugar until light and fluffy. Add the egg whites to the bowl and beat until combined. Add in the vanilla and almond extracts and mix until incorporated. Mix in the dry ingredients in three additions, alternating with the milk, beginning and ending with the dry ingredients. Mix just until incorporated. Fold in the sprinkles with a spatula.

3. Pour the batter into the prepared pan. Bake until a toothpick inserted in the middle comes out clean (about 30-40 minutes). Allow to cool in pans 10 minutes, then remove to a wire rack to cool completely. Frost cooled cake as desired.

Cinnamon Roll Cake

If you love cinnamon rolls, you are gonna love this cake. Tastes exactly like them, only in cake form. Besides being quick and easy (and let's not forget delicious!), it is moist and very cinnamony (yes, I'm making up words here).

Since I made this cake last night, we couldn't eat it warm at work today (damn them for not installing an oven like I requested!), but the cake was still very good. However, when I brought the leftovers home to hubby, I heated up his piece and the cake instantly went from good to FANTASTIC. I will defintiely need to make this again when it can be consumed directly out of the oven.

Unfortunately, I didn't get a picture of the cake because my camera battery died and hubby absolutely could not wait any longer to eat the rest of it. Check out Ingrid's site (link is below) for some seriously mouthwatering photos.

Cinnamon Roll Cake
(Source: 3 B's)

Cake:
Yellow Cake Mix
4 eggs
¾ cup oil
1 cup sour cream

Filling:
1 cup brown sugar
1 tbsp cinnamon

Icing:
2 cups powdered sugar
4 tbsp milk or heavy cream (I used 8 Tbsp of heavy cream to get the consistency I wanted)

1. Mix cake ingredients by hand and pour in 13 x 9 greased baking pan.

2. Mix the filling ingredients together and pour over cake batter. Swirl into batter with knife. (this was not easy to do as the batter is thick)

3. Bake at 325 for 40 minutes. Let cake cool 10 – 15 minutes.

4. Pour icing over warm cake.

Chocolate-Peanut Butter Cake

My inspiration for this cake was the Buckeye Peanut Butter-Fudge Cake at King Arthur Flour:

Doesn't that look absolutely heavenly? Unfortunately, my finished product looked nothing like this. Nope, not even close.

Where do I even begin?

All right, I'm just going to say it.

This was a disaster from the very beginning.

Don't get me wrong. The cake was delicious. The peanut butter filling was divine. Even the chocolate frosting was downright tasty.

But the presentation? Seriously needs some work. Let's just say I'm not overly skilled at layer cakes. Granted, I haven't had too much experience - I usually just opt for a simple 13x9 cake topped with frosting (and apparently for a very good reason).

I doubled the cake recipe, but opted to make one cake at a time so I didn't have to worry about making sure the same amount of batter got in each pan. Sounds simple enough, right? Well, I'm 99% positive I forgot to put half a cup of sugar into the first cake. Not really a big deal. It cooked a little faster than the other layer, but otherwise it was fine. It also probably tasted slightly less sweet, but who can really tell with peanut butter filling AND chocolate frosting?

What was supposed to be a four layer cake soon became a three layer cake because the layer with less sugar was not as tall as the other layer and, therefore, could not be cut in half very easily. I completely ruined the thick layer when I attempted to halve it. It was uneven and way too thin in places. I attempted to use the botched layer anyway, but when it started slipping and crumbling off the gooey peanut butter filling onto my kitchen counter (picture lava flowing out of a volcano), I knew I was in trouble. After hiding the evidence of the major disaster (thank God for garbage disposals!), I added more peanut butter filling to the soggy bottom layer, topped it with the sugarless top layer, coated it in frosting, and I was done. All before the clock struck 7 (in the morning, just to clarify).

This experience just confirms my dire need to take a proper cake decorating class.

Chocolate Cake
(Source: Everyday with Rachel Ray)

1 cup flour
1 cup plus 2 tablespoons sugar
7 tablespoons unsweetened (non-Dutch process) natural cocoa powder
1/4 teaspoon salt
1/2 teaspoon baking soda
2 large eggs
1/2 cup milk
1 stick (4 ounces) unsalted butter, melted
1/2 teaspoons pure vanilla extract

1. Preheat the oven to 350°F. Grease a 9-inch round cake pan; line the bottom with parchment paper and grease the paper.

2. In a large bowl, whisk together the flour, sugar, cocoa powder, salt and baking soda. Make a well in the center, add the eggs and milk and whisk gently to make a thick batter; whisk vigorously 30 to 40 times. Whisk in the melted butter and vanilla just until smooth. Scrape into the prepared pan.

3. Bake until a toothpick inserted into the center comes out clean, 30 to 35 minutes. Let cool on a rack for 10 minutes; invert onto the rack, remove the pan and parchment paper and invert again. Let cool completely.

Peanut Butter Filling
(Source: King Arthur Flour)

4 cups confectioners' sugar
1 1/2 cups peanut butter
2 teaspoons vanilla extract
3/4 cup milk

Mix the sugar, peanut butter and vanilla till crumbly. Add the milk and mix till smooth, adding more milk if necessary to make a spreadable filling.

"Perfectly Chocolate" Chocolate Frosting
(Source: Hersheys)

1/2 cup (1 stick) butter or margarine
2/3 cup HERSHEY'S Cocoa
3 cups powdered sugar
1/3 cup milk
1 teaspoon vanilla extract

Melt butter. Stir in cocoa. Alternately add powdered sugar and milk, beating to spreading consistency. Add small amount of additional milk, if needed. Stir in vanilla. About 2 cups frosting.

Yellow Cake with Chocolate Frosting

While most cakes use the 'creaming' method (butter and sugar are creamed together first and then the eggs, followed by the flour and milk, are added), this recipe uses what we call the 'one bowl' or 'quick method'. This means all the dry ingredients are first put into a mixing bowl (sugar included) and then room temperature butter, along with a little milk, are added. These ingredients are beaten together and then the eggs, vanilla extract, and remaining milk are beaten into the batter.

This method produces a cake that literally seems to melt-in-your-mouth and it has a very moist, dense, and velvety texture. The only downside to this method is that you will notice that the cake layers do not have quite the volume of cakes that are made with the creaming method. I think, however, that it is worth sacrificing a little bit of volume to get the outstanding taste and texture this cake had.

Yellow Sheet Cake
(Source: Baking Bites)

2 1/2 cups cake flour
2 tsp baking powder
1/2 tsp salt
1 1/2 cups sugar
1/2 cup butter, softened
3 eggs
1 cup milk
2 tsp vanilla extract

1. Preheat oven to 350°F. Line a 9×13 inch sheet pan with parchment paper, or lightly grease it with shortening or oil (butter will produce a harder “crust”).

2. Sift cake flour, baking powder and salt into the bowl of an electric mixer. Add sugar and, using the paddle attachment, mix on low speed to blend. Cut butter into 4 or 5 chunks and drop into the bowl with the flour. Blend on low speed until mixture looks sandy and no large chunks of butter remain, 1-2 minutes.

3. In a large measuring cup, combine eggs, milk and vanilla. Beat lightly with a fork until combined. With the mixer on low, pour 1 cup of the egg mixture into the bowl. Turn speed up to medium and beat for 1 1/2 minutes. Reduce speed back to low and pour in the rest of the egg mixture. Continue to beat at low speed for an additional 30 seconds, until liquid is fully incorporated. Scrape down the sides of the bowl and beat for a few more seconds, if necessary.

4. Pour into prepared 9×13 pan and spread batter evenly with a spatula. Tap gently a few times to eliminate any bubbles. Bake at 350F for 30-35 minutes, until a tooth pick inserted into the center comes out clean.

5. Let cool for 30 minutes in the pan before turning out onto a rack to cool completely. You can leave it in the pan if you’re serving it casually.

Serves 16 - 24

Spring Fling Layered White Cake

My aunt emailed me a couple of weeks ago with this recipe, wondering if I would be willing to make it for my grandma's birthday. My grandma is borderline diabetic, so she tries to avoid sweets as much as possible. I have never worked with Splenda before (or cake flour, for that matter), but I was up for the challenge and dove right in.

The recipe was straightforward and easy to follow. It really was no different than making any other kind of cake. I snitched a tiny taste of the cake as I was slicing the layers (an art I am in dire need of practicing) and was pleasantly surprised by how normal it tasted. I figured you would be able to tell that it wasn't made with real sugar, but I certainly couldn't.

I was not a fan of the frosting, but then again I'm not a cream cheese kind of girl. Unless it is heavily sweetened. Or the cream cheese flavor is barely noticeable. As it was, the frosting was mostly cream cheese (1 whole pound...yikes!) and a fat free cream cheese, which I have to believe takes some of the flavor out of it. I would have much rather seen the cake paired with this pudding-based frosting (or even this pudding/cream cheese/whipped topping frosting probably wouldn't be bad).

But the true test was what all of the guests would think of the cake. I was nervous, of course, and kept my fingers crossed that it would be a hit. The verdict? It was delicious! Grandma even had two pieces. I didn't try the finished product, but all of the guests that tried it raved about how good it was. I would definitely like to try this cake again and experiment more with the filling and the frosting.

Happy 84th, Grandma!

Spring Fling Layered White Cake
(Source: Splenda)

Cake:
1 1/2 cups SPLENDA® Granular
3 3/4 cup cake flour
1 1/2 teaspoons baking powder
1 teaspoon baking soda
1/4 cup granulated sugar
2/3 cup unsalted butter, softened
7 large egg whites
1 1/4 cups buttermilk
1 tablespoon vanilla extract
1/2 teaspoon almond extract

Diabetic Cream Cheese Frosting:
1/2 cup light butter, softened
1 cup SPLENDA Granular
1 pound fat-free cream cheese
2 teaspoons vanilla extract

Apricot & Strawberry Filling:
3/4 cup reduced sugar apricot preserves
1 pint strawberries, thinly sliced

1. Preheat oven to 350°F. Lightly spray two 9-inch cake pans with baking spray. Set aside.

2. Make cake. Sift flour. Mix SPLENDA, flour, baking powder, baking soda and sugar together in a medium sized mixing bowl. Mix on low speed until ingredients are blended. Add softened butter. Mix on low speed until butter is very finely distributed (about 2 to 3 minutes).

3. Add egg whites. Mix on low speed until incorporated. Scrape sides of bowl. Mix on medium-high speed 1 to 2 minutes or until batter is light and well blended. Scrape sides of bowl. Add buttermilk and extracts. Mix on medium speed until blended.

4. Pour cake batter into prepared pans. Bake in preheated 350°F oven 20 to 25 minutes or until edges of cake appear slightly dry. Allow cake to cool in pans 10 to 15 minutes. Remove from pans and cool on wire racks until ready to ice.

5. Prepare Icing. Beat softened butter and SPLENDA briefly in a medium sized mixing bowl (until SPLENDA is just incorporated). Add cream cheese. Mix until lump free (about 1 minutes). Scrape sides of bowl and add vanilla. Mix well.

6. Assemble cake. Slice cooled cake layers in half. Using a serrated knife slice cakes in half horizontally, to create 4 cake layers.

7. Place 1 cake layer on cake stand or plate. Spread 1/3 of the preserves over the cake layer. Top with 1/3 of the strawberries. Repeat process until all layers are assembled.

8. Ice cake.

Makes 18 (1/2-inch thick slice) servings.

Dixie Spice Cake with Caramel Frosting

In case you haven't noticed, we like to celebrate things at the office. We use pretty much anything as an excuse to have cake. This time it was Alison's birthday. She has gotten away with not celebrating her birthday for the last two years. I put a stop to that this year and she was a very good sport about it.

I really like spice cake. I think it has to be one of my favorite kinds of cake. It is also the only kind of cake I actually enjoy eating cream cheese frosting on. This particular spice cake was good, but I have definitely had better and will need to continue my search for the perfect spice cake recipe. The caramel frosting was very rich and was a nice change of pace from the cream cheese frosting you usually find it paired with.

Dixie Spice Cake with Caramel Frosting
(Source: Pillsbury Baking)

Cake:
2 1/4 cups all-purpose flour
1 1/4 cups brown sugar
1/2 cup sugar
1 tsp baking soda
1/2 tsp salt
1/2 tsp ground nutmeg
1/2 tsp ground allspice
1 cup buttermilk
2/3 cup shortening
1 tsp vanilla
3 eggs
1 cup chopped walnuts or pecans (optional)

Caramel Frosting:
1/2 cup butter or margarine
1 cup brown sugar
1/4 cup milk
3 cups powdered sugar
1/2 tsp vanilla

1. Heat oven to 350°F. Generously grease bottom only of 13x9-inch pan with shortening or cooking spray; lightly flour.

2. In large bowl, beat all cake ingredients except walnuts with electric mixer on low speed until moistened, scraping bowl occasionally. Beat on medium speed 3 minutes, scraping bowl occasionally. Stir in walnuts. Spread batter evenly in pan.

3. Bake 40 to 45 minutes or until top springs back when touched lightly in center. Cool completely, about 1 hour.

4. In 2-quart saucepan, melt butter. Stir in brown sugar. Cook over low heat 2 minutes, stirring constantly. Add milk; cook until mixture comes to a rolling boil. Remove from heat. Gradually beat in powdered sugar and vanilla until smooth. If needed, add a few drops of milk for desired spreading consistency. Spread over cooled cake.

Serves 24

Peanut Butter Cake with Chocolate Frosting

I baked this cake for birthday #2 at work this week and oh, man was it delicious.

I was very hesitant to try this recipe because it got such mixed reviews. Some people thought it was the best cake ever, while others complained that it was dry and bland. I am so glad I tried the recipe because it was truly amazing! It might have been a tad on the dry side, but it was dense and full of the rich flavor of peanut butter.

I frosted the cake with my own (store-bought) chocolate frosting and sprinkled it very generously with Reece's Pieces, which added a surprising (and delicious) crunch. I would also seriously consider using a peanut butter frosting with this cake (you can never have too much peanut butter in my book). This cake is a must for anyone who loves the peanut butter-chocolate combination.

Peanut Butter Cake
(Source: Paula Dean over at Food Network)

1 cup All-purpose flour
1 cup plus 2 tablespoons Sugar
3 1/2 tsp baking powder
1 tsp salt
2 cups graham cracker crumbs
1 cup Peanut Butter
1/4 cup shortening
1 cup plus 2 Tbsp milk
1 tsp vanilla extract
3 eggs

1. Preheat oven to 375°F if baking with a metal dish; 325 degrees F if using a glass dish.

2. Sift flour, sugar, baking powder, and salt together. Add graham cracker crumbs, peanut butter, shortening, milk, and vanilla. Beat mixture with electric mixer on low until moistened, and then beat on medium for 2 minutes. Add eggs and beat for 1 minute.

3. Bake in greased 9-inch by 13-inch pan for 30 to 35 minutes. Do not remove from pan to cool.

"Perfectly Chocolate" Chocolate Cake

I baked this cake for birthday #1 at work this week.

In all honesty, I'm not a big fan of chocolate (except if it's paired with Peanut Butter), but this cake was good. It was light, moist, and not overly rich. I admit I cheated and used store-bought frosting, but I don't think it compromised the deliciousness of the cake. :)

Hershey's "Perfectly Chocolate" Chocolate Cake
(Source: Hershey's)

2 cups Sugar
1 3/4 cups All-Purpose Flour
3/4 cups Cocoa
1 1/2 tsp Baking Soda
1 1/2 tsp Baking Powder
1 tsp Salt
2 Eggs
1 cup Milk
1/2 cup Vegetable Oil
2 tsp Vanilla
1 cup Boiling Water

1. Heat oven to 350°F. Grease a 13x9 baking pan.

2. Stir together sugar, flour, cocoa, baking soda, baking powder, and salt in a large bowl. Add eggs, milk, oil, and vanilla; beat on medium speed for 2 minutes. Stir in boiling water (batter will be thin). Pour batter into prepared pan.

3. Bale 35-4o minutes. Cool completely. Frost.